An ode to Ellen’s Energy Adventure as it takes its last ride at Epcot

Two marquee rides are closing this month at Walt Disney World: The Great Movie Ride at Hollywood Studios and Ellen’s Energy Adventure at Epcot.

There has been a great outpouring of love for the movie ride since its closing was announced, but little has been said about Ellen’s Energy Adventure.

I come here today to remedy that.

Ellen’s Energy Adventure has a lot going for it: The charming Ms. Ellen DeGeneres herself; Bill Nye the Science Guy; the dinosaur diorama … and, well, I have no idea what else.

Because I have never once stayed awake past the dinosaurs.

You see, Ellen’s Energy Adventure is my go-to place to nap at Epcot. I’m told that after the dinosaurs, there’s a 15-minute film about various energy sources, followed by a 3-minute wrap-up. All I know is that there’s at least 15 minutes of gentle motion to lull me to sleep when I need it most.

And if I’m really tired? Heck, I’ve seen the dinosaurs. The whole ride is 37 minutes long. You’d have to go back to your hotel to get in a nap that long.

Where else can you get a cat nap at Epcot? Not in the 360-degree movie theaters, where you have to stand up. If you aren’t an American history buff, you can get almost 30 minutes of sleep at the American Adventure, but I never fall asleep there. (These days, you don’t know how that story is going to end.)

An argument could be made for the nappability of either the Seas with Nemo and Friends or Journey to Imagination, but those are short naps at best.

DVC members can get a respite at the Member Lounge upstairs from Journey to Imagination. I doubt anyone would disturb you if you nodded off in one of the chairs there, but honestly — they aren’t that comfortable.

Really, the Universe of Energy farewell t-shirt should say, “Lulling tired guests to sleep since 1996.”

As Sam Eagle might say: It wasn’t good. It was glorious.